How on earth am I going to leave little Violet for 2 weeks???
She doesn't really understand. She knows we are going on a big airplane on a long trip and that she is staying with Aunt Sarah, but she just keeps telling me that she is a big girl and wants to go on the big airplane too.I left Jake when he was just shy of 4 to go get Lydia and that was super hard as well. I remember being so sad and yet so happy at the same time. I feel the same way all over again. I really wish she was a bit older so that she could process this better.
Last night, about 2 am, I was rethinking all of my options. We could take her...but she would be miserable, she could run off and how would we find her, she could get sick and that could be very dangerous because she is so little, everyone on the flight to and from China would hate us because she will be mad about having to sit still for so long. No. We can't take her. I could stay home...but miss this trip with Lydia? No. I want to hold her in my arms when we finally reach that spot where she was found and be there in case it is hard. That is something we've discussed for 10 years. And, I want to be with Jake to see how he responds to his first trip out of the country. I think his heart will be sad for the level of poverty he is about to see. I have to go. The only sensible option is that she stay home. And, she will do great with Sarah and others.
It's still hard...
She just woke up and asked me if it is "almost snowing." She's irritated that it isn't almost snowing because she wants to make snow angels. I will miss her illogical logic for 2 weeks.
But, this is a must do. I wouldn't miss this opportunity with Lydia for anything.
Being a parent is hard work.
11 days until take off....packing starts today!
